Obviously EverymanHybrid wasn't the only blog to crop up in the Slendermania that's permeated those internet saavy among us. There are many, many, many Slenderblogs, but one of the 'big four' that's cropped up in recent years, is TribeTwelve.
I'm not sure why it's listed as one of the major Slenderblogs, as it doesn't see to have nearly as many followers as the others, nor is it as, well...frankly...good. But it is, so we're talking about it. Deal.
HERE THERE BE SPOILERSSo none of that "you ruined the ending!!!" whining, ok douchecanoes?
Screw you: TribeTwelve. The most you bring to the table is tentacles and the assertion that Slendy is damn good with a video editor, and God Almighty nobody frigging cares.
Well, I don't care. At least.
The basic premise of TribeTwelve is that our dim-lightbulb protagonist Noah Maxwell is a sad sad panda after his painfully socially-inept cousin Milo Asher offs himself for no apparent reason. Ah, fooey.
As it so happens though! The two cousins, being extraordinarily close, despite living so far away from eachother, made a video of the last time that Milo came for a visit! Wow! Lucky cheese! Noah decides to upload the videos to the internet in honor of his cousin, despite his aunt's request for him not to, and his cousin's clear desire to not be filmed in the footage that he uploads. But lets not quibble over familial niceities. This way he can finally delete that pesky data off his hard drive. Weee! More space for Plants vs. Zombies!
However, Noah forgot how strangely his cousin was acting in all this old footage. Namely, the fact that his cousin takes off like a frightened, gawky, unathletic rabbit with a wedgie at the slightest whim. Hmm, how bizarre...
Of course what Noah fails to see, is the constant presence of a tall-slendery man that seems to make it's appearance where-ever the boys seem to go. Once all the footage is uploaded, Noah is contacted by estranged German relatives and nightly spooks alike. In his increasing paranoia he starts carrying a knife and a camera at all times; perpetually filming himself at bizarre angles and knifing poor innocent shrubs for no good reason at all.
Wow Noah, good job. You know that strange box you get with the leaf in it? It means that shrub is back, and it's back for revenge.
Needless to say, things go steadily downhill, just as they always do. Noah starts to see Slendy, not only in the old footage, but in his home as well. Noah himself starts losing it as strange messages, video responses, and creepy (undecipherable to the viewer) phone calls start cropping up in the middle of the night. The whole thing breaks down even further as Noah, staying the home of a friend of a friend of his cousins (or something equally confusing), ends up attacking the poor girl with a knife and escaping off into the night. The last we saw him, Noah was riding straight into the Mangrove-y lair of SM himself, interupting the poor guy's tentaclly dance party with his insane screaming.
But not before posting this absolutely chilling tweet:
"observerheisherehelpmehelpmehellllllllllbndjmvb,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, "I dunno about you buuut...if Slenderman was chomping on my head, the last thing I would do (I mean, I'm just guessing here...) would be to be on my friggin' iPhone tweeting about it.
Characters:
Noah Maxwell: The dunderheaded protagonist, who is perpetually walking straight into danger; swearing up a blue streak; and tweeting about it all at the same time. His one saving grace is his supposed 'Good Looks' that endless streams of overly concerned tween girls are endless harping about. To be honest, I don't see it, but hey, 173 tweeniboppers can't be wrong! ...can they?
Milo Asher: The unfortunant victim of an deeply unfortunant haircut and girly physique; Milo Asher was kind of a bizarre guy. Make that Late...guy. It's was Milo's unfortunant suicide that prompted Noah to start looking into their time together in the first place. Of course, nothing good results. Milo, clearly having been stalked by Slenderman for sometime prior to events of TribeTwelve, was clearly 'in the know' regarding slendersymbols and the big man himself; frequently taking off at the slightest hint of haunting. He also had a history of psychological problems, that may or may not have come into play regarding his subsiquent estrangement and suicide.
Sarah (?): Having some unclear relation to Milo, Noah camps out at her and her father's house for the holidays. The visit was cut short when Noah draws a knife in the middle of the night; finds himself covered in blood and then books it out of the house. Sarah's current condition is unknown.
Grandpa Karl: A relative of Noah's and a long-time survivor of Slenderman, Grandpa Karl is by far my favorite character. Not only is he one of the few characters with an interesting story to tell, but he also knows when to tell Noah to stuff it. (He even does it in German!)
The Observer: TribeTwelve's Totheark. He's the prettiest part of the whole series. Point's to Slenderman for imbuing his Hallowed minions with some pretty ligit video-editting skills. The Observer even has their own symbol to rival that of the Operator's. It resembles a cyclops eye, or, as one particularly honest twitter followerer pointed out "A single menacing boob...what could it mean?!?!"
I, for one, can't overlook the frankily obvious foreshadowing that the observer is really (*Le Gasp!*) Milo. If it's not, it's because the creators finally stepped and realized how blantently obvious they were making the whole damn thing.
Slenderman: Particularly tentaclly in this series, it's as if the creators looked at the other slenderblogs out there and decided what they could bring to the table was extra appendages. Slenderman, rather than twenty dollars or small-time b-movie fame, seems to really just want to be left alone in this series, but those meddling kids keep interupting his slender-raves.
My Rating: D
And that's being pretty darn generous. If my clearly flippant and sarcastic review wasn't a hard enough crack over the head, let me say outright: this series is meh at best. The concepts are half thought out, the episodes are rambling and pointless, and half the time are taken shot-for-shot from other, more popular series. The acting is the worst element. The unemotional, and blatently dispassionant delivery of anything other than curse words breaks my suspension of disbelief into tiny fragmented pieces.
Look. The only reason I give this series anything more than a big fat F, is because of the occasionally surprisingly adequate moments that give me a glimmer of hope that maybe, someday, this show will have some actual potential. The Totheark of the series, while perhaps over-stated and a little too artsy, is, at the very least, somewhat interesting to watch. While they do frequently take ideas that were already carried out by other blogs, they have seemed to try and step away from this habit at least somewhat. And you do have to admit, if the whole goal of this series was to get a Slenderman that was tentaclly, they succeeded admirably.
I can't bash the guys for trying, I just wish they'd try a little harder.
Hey somebody likes it.
"No-AH!!! YEAH DUDE UR LIKEW THE BESTEST"
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